you'll hardly notice when I don't come back

I saw this
a bicycle,
and thought

take me with you.

It was beautiful:
wide silver handlebars capped
with camel brown
rubber,
its body
wrapped in pink
chrysanthemums;
a garden that soared
between
spinning circles.
A slender escape,
It was grace on wheels,

and I wanted it.
I want a sweet release
on this floral chariot,
a wish granted
warm wind blown
crown of locks
unlocking me
and I somersault
in the breeze's kiss.

I will pedal
a pattern swift,
sailing.
grateful
in this
gift,
your garden
of bliss.
and
my no ones
will feel less
lonesome
when I
live
in this
sphere
where
happiness seems
more possible
than here.

going down

I remember elevators
with you.

remember
elevator?

elevate her.

tension swells
pulls

I.
doors slide shut.

II.
hands slide
down.

III.
as you
lift
my skirt

IV.
have
a
quick
lick

V.
satin
sighs
between
wet
thighs

VI.
I look
down
and
we
are
all eyes

VII.
you
travel
through
me
hot
like
blood

VIII.
and I
quicken
for
you,
at
you,
near
you,

IX.
hear
me
sharp
breathe
hot
heave
you
plus
me

X.
marks the spot,
hit
the spot
this
is
the spot
and we got off
on
the last
stop.

everyone

Giveand
Giveand
Give
and
Could I
Would I


Should I?

I'd do anything for
shuteye
A goodbye
A
don’t ask why.
And no
afternoon
cries.

Let me be
more tv.
alone
what a treat

And
I won’t smile
no laughs for miles;
my new
style
adopted through
trial...
no errors
I've become
this
terror.

and no
more
thank yous
galore.
I'm sick of polite
this dishonest
plight
and if I’ve scarred
you
for life
I don’t care
a slight.

I hope you’ve felt
this
burn.
Its taken a turn
so much worse
and when you’re
hurt
(which I hope you were)
I’ll peel at your wounds
scars and scabs
stitches
and bitches
and point till
they laugh.

Finally,
you,
just go away.
It doesn’t
matter how
now.
So I can bask
in this emotional
drought.

doubts forever

what if

I gained fifty pounds?
I say.

he said,
that's ok, too.

and if


I sprout hairs on my chin,
liver spots on my knuckles
and
cankles where there once was
smooth
long
legs?

and what if

I lost my hair,
all of it.
and my now
luscious
tits
flattened like
pancakes
and dangled at my
belly?

would you then?

he says,
yes.
Yes,
even when
your knees crack
and your back aches.
and when you've got no teeth
and your eyes can't see.
even when
you pee when you laugh
and need extra ginko.
when your voice is stiff
and your skin is thin.

even then,
he says,
still.

but what if?

fruits of labor

I bathed.
my skin was lotioned
hot and open
and there was you
who
wanted.
opening me
like a ripe,
plump
papaya.
an offering
from all of me
a gift of gardening.

and you feasted
in the blackness
unafraid of the dark

and we were both full.

conversation

things
and stuff.
like,
whatever.

duh.

totally!
ohmygod,
for sure!

sooo...

right?
(I know!)
for reals
and
sweet.

awesome.
or something.

and I won't have you mocking what I can become

you didn't look at me
before there was red lipstick.
I slink into my crimson costume
and I've got you.
feasting
on your would-be dinner.
I've made you a
sinner; impure.
how,
all of a sudden,
can you see my
allure
?
and
I sense your
hankering.
your heart hammers
a beat
increased
as my heels
snap past you
hard
as concrete.
eyes swing
obscenely.
wanting,
absconding
with me
your mind's possession,
you dream an obsession.

but you can put it away,
child's play.
because this isn't for you.
I have answered the question
you did not ask,
and we will not
fuck.
you will never
suck
on these,
my blessed rubies.