If there's something I know, it's being fat;
I've always been quite good at that.
Sweat,treadmills,diet pills,
torture 'til I've had my fill.
Acupuncture and Weight loss shakes
do not a thin women make.
Ab rollers and south beach, too
I've spent days in spanx
'til I turn blue.
Herbal remedies, Jenny Craig,
special tea, drink the dregs.
I've tried everything, alli too,
low-carb diets erase my stool.
And when I'm done I'll check my mirror
adjust my eyes to see me clearer,
front view forward,
side view next...
what's he thinking when we have sex?
lift this here, jiggle that
drown in the gravity of being fat.
look at these legs,
they're like trees.
I stare at myself and feel obese.
double chins and muffin tops,
this dieting thing is such a flop.
